Cave Exploration
by xhoneybadgerx
Summary: After many years of longing, a trip to the zoo leads to Edward and Bella exploring more than just the nocturnal house. One-shot, now slightly expanded. Rated M. My first fic, so be kind!
1. Chapter 1

**Additional A/N; I decided to extend this story a little bit, in EPOV. I have tweaked Bella's bit a little, but nothing major.**

**A/N; **This is my first fic. I've been playing about with it for ages, and I'm not completely happy with it, but I've decided to stop procrastinating and just get it out there. Any and all comments gratefully received. So, in honour of our beloved Rob's birthday, I give you...

**Cave Exploration**

~o0o~ Bella ~o0o~

We had all met in a retro bar near Edward's office to celebrate his first week in his new job. Jake was feeling pissy, and not in the mood for a night out. He had gone home early, and by his demeanour I could tell he expected me to follow. In a rare moment of defiance, I had decided I was staying out, and I had spent a fantastic evening watching Alice and Jazz improvising ridiculous, overdone dance routines to classic eighties songs, and drinking sugary "cocktails" full of E numbers. I knew I would be facing an irate Jacob, but his early departure had made Edward uncharacteristically light-hearted, and much more attentive than usual. While he had been affectionate during college, he had become guarded and brooding in recent years. Tonight was like the return of an old friend. He barely spoke to anybody else all evening, and I basked in his attention. To begin with, he had just leaned in close to talk to me over the sound of the music. Then near enough to touch, then so close that the side of our faces pressed lightly against each other. His hand started out on my back, and then next time it was round my waist, holding me to him. In return, I rested my hand on his upper arm.

We left together, as we had discussed. Jasper and Alice were going across town to his place, and since my apartment was just a block away from Edward's, he would make sure I got there safely. We meandered happily towards home, bickering good-naturedly.

"How come you stayed out?" he asked.

"I wasn't going to say no to Sparkly Vampires, they're my favourite drink."

"If you're saying you'll do anything for Sparkly Vampires, I'll start making them myself," he teased.

"Well, they're not exactly difficult. And I wouldn't say I'd do anything for them, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't do everything for them. Wait, that didn't come out right…"

As we walked across the wide deserted street the white ballet flat slipped off my heel, and I stood on one leg, inelegantly trying to wriggle my toes back into the sequined slipper. Always the gentleman, Edward silently held out his hand to me, and I gripped his fingers while I reached down and tugged at the heel.

"Okay, we're good," I smiled up at him, righting myself. We moved off, and after a couple of steps, as if it were the most natural thing in the world; he took hold of my hand. Alcohol had made my head fuzzy and I frowned slightly, knowing I shouldn't be doing this, but unable to see how it was wrong. I didn't feel self-conscious, nor was it one of those awkward moments I had to ignore because I didn't know how to deal with it. It didn't feel naughty, or illicit. It felt like the perfectly right thing to do. In fact, looking back on it later I wondered if it might have felt more unnatural if he hadn't done it. Neither of us acknowledged what we were doing, and we walked on, deciding whether to walk home or get a cab, our fingers interlaced.

We decided to walk, which caused great complaint from him.

"You walk it everyday." I reasoned.

"Yeah, but I'm sober in the mornings"

"Don't tell me you're drunk!" I exclaimed incredulously. He had a higher tolerance for alcohol than anyone I knew. "You've only had three Sparkly Vamps and two beers."

"Two and a half beers. The half makes all the difference"

"Two and a half because you were too much of a pussy to finish the third; you had to get a girl to do it for you."

At this he stopped & dropped my hand, sticking out his bottom lip in a sulk and looking at the floor. He looked adorable. I giggled and held out my hand to him.

"I'm sorry. I promise never to call you a pussy again." I teased, my voice full of fake contrition.

"You'd better" he said, reaching for my hand. He held it for a second before letting go and slipping his hand around my waist instead, holding me close to his side. His fingers traced patterns on the skin of my hip. I shivered and snuggled deeper, sliding my arm around him, warming myself against his body.

"I'd better call you a pussy, or I'd better promise not to?"

"You'd better promise not to, or you'll be getting a spanking."

"Well, now you're offering incentives to insult you."

"Oh, really?" he chuckled "Care to elaborate on that?"

"Let's just say that spanking is not always a deterrent."

"Wow. I'm learning quite a lot about you tonight. Will do _anything_ for a Sparkly Vampire and likes to be spanked. Anything else you'd like to tell me?" His tone was suggestive, and his long fingers dipped under the waistband of my jeans, stroking my skin tenderly. It was blissful, and again I couldn't quite bring myself to care that I was allowing my body to have this reaction to someone who wasn't Jake. It had been so long since I felt young and carefree...

"What would you like to know? I'm kind of drunk, so I'll tell you just about anything right now." I stopped again to re-adjust my shoe, it having slipped off once more. Again, he offered me his hand to steady myself, and again his hand caressed the small of my back as he wrapped his arm back around me. He remained silent, and I looked up at him in concern. His brow was furrowed, he seemed disquieted and distracted. I snuggled up against him, and he gave me a little squeeze in return. We continued on our way, still with an arm around each other, but the teasing banter had disappeared, replaced with silence. I mentally kicked myself for so effectively destroying the mood. I tried not to dwell on my feelings for Edward, seeing no point in torturing myself. It had been many years since I had shut them away, resigned to enjoy is friendship without pining for more, but I couldn't deny the buzz I felt while he was flirting with me, even if it was only an illusion. Neither of us said a word until we were about to reach his building.

"Thank you for giving me something to lean on," I said quietly.

"You don't have to say thank you."

"You shouldn't only say thank you just because you think you have to, you should say it if you're grateful, and I am."

We had slowed, and were now walking at an uncomfortably slow pace, but I didn't want to speed up; I wanted to prolong the closeness as long as possible, and I liked imagining he did, too. As we reached my building, he stopped entirely and turned to face me, his arm still around my waist. I looked up at him, lost for words. I wanted to kiss him so badly, and he was looking at me like maybe he wanted to kiss me, too. He looked at me steadily for a moment, then his eyes softened and he began to lean in towards me. Suddenly panicked, I stood up on tip-toes and wrapped my arms around him in an enthusiastic, but purely platonic, hug and then slipped quietly through the door. As much as I enjoyed his flirting, it was harmless. A kiss was a line I would not cross, not while I was spoken for. I was Jacob's. If, by some miracle, Edward still wanted to kiss me when he was sober, I would happily review that situation.

~o0O0o~

It was two weeks before I saw him again. Ever since high school, Alice, Emmett, Edward and I would make an effort every few months to do something as a group. Sometimes we would learn to windsurf, or to throw pots and paint ceramics. We visited museums and art galleries, sushi restaurants and Mariners games. We took it in turns to pick the activity, and always tried to come up with something original. As we paired off, Jasper had joined in whole-heartedly, suggesting destinations and participating enthusiastically in the activities. Rosalie was a little hesitant at first, but would usually come along for the ride, taking part if it appealed to her. Jacob had joined us twice, before dismissing the whole thing as boring and juvenile. After years of nudging and cajoling, I had long since given up trying to get him to come along and this time I was actually looking forward to seeing Edward again without Jake's glowering presence. It was Alice's pick today, and she tended to pick more sedate activities, with plenty of opportunities for conversation. Unfortunately, Jake had decided to come along this time, and I tried to remind myself that this was what I had wanted; his involvement in my friends and interests.

I tried not to resent his possessive arm draped heavily over my shoulder as we walked up the path to Emmett and Rosalie's door.

I failed.

"Hi, Bella. Jake, good to see you again. It's been a while." Rose opened the door with a smile, "Em, Edward and Tanya are in the kitchen." I didn't miss the meaningful look she gave me at this last name. Tanya. Edward _and Tanya_. Edward had brought a date. Edward had never brought a date on one of these trips. They were ours. If he brought her, she must be special.

I tried not to let my heart drop.

I failed.

Tanya was gorgeous; a leggy blonde with ivory skin and breasts like zeppelins. She smiled widely with perfect teeth as Edward introduced her, and went into artificial ecstasy over my outfit, proclaiming she loved vintage clothes.

"That's not vintage," Jake snorted derisively. "It's just old."

Tanya giggled coquettishly, and I felt my face burn with humiliation as I practically climbed into the refrigerator, busying myself with final preparations for our picnic. Rosalie tugged my ponytail as she went to answer the door, and behind me Edward pointedly asked Tanya to fetch his jacket from her car. I guess he didn't appreciate the way Jake was leering at her anymore than I did.

"Let's go to the zoo!" Alice exploded into the room like a firecracker, tugging Jasper behind her as he smiled indulgently. At times like this I wondered if it felt less like a relationship to him, and more like babysitting. The man had the patience on several saints.

"Yeah!" enthused Emmett, making the rest of us jump at the sudden burst of noise. "They've opened this new nocturnal house: all the bats are flying around and you walk right through their habitat. It sounds so awesome!"

Next to him, Rosalie's delicate nose scrunched up in distaste and she suddenly remembered an urgent appointment. Everybody else seemed to like the idea, however, and we headed out to the cars; Alice and Jasper in her little two-seater, everybody else in Emmett's truck. Jake bitched and whined to get the front passenger seat, complaining that his extra height over Edward meant he needed the leg room. Edward just rolled his eyes and got in the back with Tanya and me.

"I'm sorry about him," I mumbled, as Jake strutted past the window on his way to his prize. He was humiliating sometimes. Being heir apparent to the Quileute tribe, he had never been denied anything in his life, and his good looks and sheer size meant that he always got his way, even off the reservation. As a result he had a very strong sense on entitlement. In other words, he was a spoiled brat.

"Don't worry about it; I know by now none of us are allowed to be happy unless Jake is happy." Edward gave a wry little smile as he settled into the central seat between Tanya and me.

The journey passed slowly, with so much arguing over the stereo that eventually Emmett shouted that it was his truck, his rules, and if anybody didn't like Eminem they could get out and walk.

Jake and Tanya both sulked after that, and the tension in the car was palpable. I was sat with my arms folded, hugging myself and feeling dejected; I had been looking forward to this for ages, and it was being ruined by my boyfriend and Edward's date. I felt pressure on my shoulder, then on my fingers where they were tucked under my arm. I realised Edward has assumed the same position, and his long fingers were gently stroking mine, shielded by our postures. I glanced up at him from the corner of my eye. He was staring straight ahead, but there was a slight curve at the corner of his mouth and his fingers laced with mine, still moving so they stroked the sensitive skin between. I smiled at the connection, reassured that the day could be salvaged.

~o0O0o~

The nocturnal house was huge, with three progressively darker rooms before the large bat cavern. Each anteroom was lined with exhibits of nocturnal animals, and had plaster sculpted to resemble cave walls and stalactites. Emmett was beside himself with excitement, and Alice was having great difficulty getting him to slow down long enough for his eyes to adjust to the low light. Jacob was flirting with Tanya on the other side of the room as I stared miserably at the small furry creatures scuttling behind the glass. Despite my hopes, and Edward's comforting touch in the car, the day had not been a success. Jake had continued to belittle me at every opportunity, and had spent most of the day trying to impress Tanya, and she had spent the day fawning over him. I had watched helpless as Edward sank deeper and deeper into a black rage. He had hardly said a word since we had arrived at the zoo, and had spent more time glaring at Jake than looking at the animals. I let out a heavy sigh and closed my eyes, letting my shoulders drop in defeat and wishing I were as attractive as Tanya, then Jake might still want me.

_Be honest,_ I thought to myself, _if you were as attractive as Tanya, you wouldn't want Jake. You'd want Edward._

I nearly jumped out of my skin as I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders and a warm presence near me.

"It's only me, Bella." Edward's deep, soft voice shushed me as his fingers continued their journey, sliding slowly down my arms. He was stood close behind me, and I could feel his breath on my neck when he spoke. It was almost overwhelming, but I knew there was something I needed to say to him.

"Tanya..." I whispered, utterly failing to keep the tremor from my voice.

"Is... otherwise engaged" He finished for me, his tone low and intimate as his hands came to rest lightly on my waist.

Reflexively, my eyes flicked to where the voluptuous blonde was draped against the rough plaster walls, her tinkling laughter floating across the hall. Jake was leaning forward, practically falling down the valley of her cleavage, his face eager in the dark. He had placed her hand on his bicep, encouraging her to feel the admittedly considerable muscles there. Tanya was obviously more impressed than I ever had been; her fingers lingered, stroking seductively up and down his arm.

"I'm sorry about Jake" I murmured.

"Your dickhead boyfriend is hitting on another woman, and you're apologising?" I could tell he was struggling to control his anger. He had never insulted Jake in front of me before. I remembered the look of fury I had seen on his face at the wolf enclosure, where Jake had boasted about spirit animals, and how his tribe was supposedly descended from wolves. He had extolled their virtues; allegiance and loyalty, and then proceeded to grab Tanya's ass when he thought no one was looking. The memory made me instantly ashamed of being so self-absorbed; I wasn't the only one being betrayed today. My dislike for her didn't change the fact that Tanya was the first girl he'd ever brought on one of these trips, for the first time he wasn't the odd one out. He must have really liked her, and now he had to watch Jake drool all over her, pawing at her.

"If I was enough to hold his attention, maybe he wouldn't chase after every pretty girl he sees and try to hump her leg like a badly trained Labrador." I muttered bitterly. Edward's fingers had dug into my flesh as I spoke, making me wince. He let go of me instantly, mumbled an apology and moved on to look into the next exhibit. I followed, feeling wretched. It seemed I could repel men even easier than usual today. We stood side by side, silently watching the furry little animals scurry across the sand and twigs. I could feel the animosity rolling off him in waves, and I hated knowing I was to blame for his misery. I could handle losing what remained of my relationship with Jake because of my inadequacies, but not my friendship with Edward, too.

"Did you... Was she... Did you care a lot for her?"

"Tanya?" he looked at me, surprised. "Can't stand her. Why?"

"I thought... Isn't she your girlfriend?"

"No!" He sounded positively offended at the idea. "Ew. She's the daughter of my mom's friend, she's come down from Alaska and she's been staying up at the house for a few weeks. Esme insisted I bring her along today. Our moms keep trying to throw us together, and I've run out of excuses. Thank God she's going home tomorrow" He rolled his eyes in distaste.

"Oh."

We moved on to the last enclosure in the room.

"So, if you don't want her, why are you so pissed at Jake?" I frowned at his reflection, confused. "You looked like you wanted to pull his arms off when he touched her earlier."

"Because he's an asshole." Edward snapped. I blinked, surprised at the aggression in his voice. As I felt the tears sting my eyes I realised I had been through enough upheaval for one day, and I was in no shape to deal with another outburst of Edward's vicious temper. I turned my back to him and stomped through the doors into the next chamber. I was hit by a wall of stifling heat and humidity, and the piped sounds of a rainforest loud in my ears. I leant against the exhibit window, feeling the cool glass against my forehead, closed my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. I stiffened as I heard the door open, and again I became aware of his warm, solid body close behind me. I didn't even notice which animals were in front if me; all my attention was on the predator behind me. He lowered his head and breathed his words softly into my ear.

"I'm sorry, I'm not mad at you. I'm pissed at him for the way he's been treating you, Bella. I'm furious that he did anything to hurt you." His hands were at my waist again, the tips of his fingers moved under the hem of my top, drifting over my skin in tantalising circles. "I'm infuriated that he could so blatant. I can't believe that he would treat you with so little respect." He reached up and gently brushed my hair back from my neck, letting his warm breath wash over me before dropping a measured kiss on my shoulder. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe, it was all too intense. "And I am... apoplectic that he ever made you feel anything less that what you are; the most amazing, breathtakingly beautiful creature I have ever seen."

"Edward!" I gasped in astonishment, my head spinning. I leaned back against him, feeling a strong arm wrap around me, holding me close to his chest. His other hand traced a path from the back of my hand, up my arm to my shoulder and back again. He was so gentle, his caresses were chaste, but I could feel the evidence of his arousal pressing against me. My eyes fluttered closed and couldn't help the soft moan that escaped my lips.

"Shh, sweetheart, you have to stay quiet. I've waited so long to have you in my arms, I don't want to have to let you go yet. I'm not going to hide it anymore; I can't stay away from you. Your skin is so soft..." he trailed off distractedly, dropping kisses along my shoulder and up my neck. He darted the tip of his tongue out, licking a trail up behind my ear. That area had always been a hot-spot for me, and I couldn't believe the intensity of the sensations; the dusky light and steamy atmosphere of the nocturnal house, Edward's incredible smell, his bold but subtle touches, the heat of his body so close to mine. His tongue on my skin. It was too much and not enough, and all the while there was a steady trickle of zoo patrons wandering past us, oblivious to the fact I was now panting with desire. I tried to focus on breathing, on holding myself upright without leaning against him. I tried to take a step forward from him to clear my head, but he moved with me, his arm holding on to me tighter.

"I told you, I'm not letting you go." He murmured, with his mouth still against my neck. I laid my hand on top of his, lacing our fingers together as he smoothed his palm over the fabric of my shirt. I couldn't tell which of us guided our joined hands up to the swell of my breast, and I couldn't tell which of us hummed with pleasure as our fingers squeezed the plump flesh.

"You have no idea how many nights I've spent, unable to sleep, wondering what you taste like, just here," he kissed the nape of my neck with an open mouth, letting his tongue sweep over the skin and making me shiver uncontrollably. "And what you feel like, just here," the tips of his fingers traced the delicate skin just below my breast. "And what noise you'd make when I did this," his voice became rough, and his hand slid down, then under my skirt to grasp my inner thigh firmly, his thumb grazing my panties while his erection dug into my ass. It felt so deliciously wicked, I pressed myself harder against him and made a sound I'd never uttered before; a gasping, sighing moan. "Fucking perfect." He groaned. "You don't know how long I've wanted you. I think about you all the time; you're always in my head, distracting me when I'm working, tempting me when I'm at home, knowing you were so close," His voice dropped even lower, so quiet I don't think he even expected me to hear "overwhelming my fantasies when I come. Always when I come." Lust ripped through me at his revelation. Although I'd consciously tried to suppress my feelings for him, it was always a glimpse of him in my mind that pushed me into my orgasm. I'd always felt intensely guilty and disloyal about it in the cold light of day, but hearing him say that he thought about me at the moment of his climax sent a pulse of longing down into my most secret place.

"I think about you, too" I confessed breathlessly "When I'm coming. It's the only way I can get there."

He cursed under his breath, and my eyes few open as he pulled me by our linked hands, down the corridor and through the door into the last room; the bat cavern.

The huge cave was even darker than the anterooms and I followed him blindly. Somehow, he could see where he was going, and pulled me along with purpose. We left the muted lights of the marked trail behind, and he found a spot that seemed to satisfy him. At first I couldn't see him at all, even though he was standing so close I could feel his breath coming in warm bursts against my mouth. He was pressing me into a crevice moulded into the wall, out of sight of the trail. The rough plaster felt cool and damp on my back, and I felt primal and untamed. I was panting and I didn't care.

"Did you mean that?" He demanded, his voice rough "You really want me? The way I want you?" I didn't know how he wanted me, but I knew I wanted him in every way imaginable.

"Yes" I squeaked, "for years now."

"Fuck, Bella! Why didn't you say so?" I took a breath to answer him but his mouth was on mine, kissing me desperately, pushing me hard into our little cave. His hands were in my hair and he pulled my head to one side to he could kiss my neck, but my frustrated whimper brought him back to my mouth, tasting my tongue and taking my lower lip gently between his teeth. I made that strange sound again, and he responded instantly, his hands on the outside of my thighs, slipping under my skirt until they came to my underwear. He slid his fingers under the fabric, but hesitated, seeking assurance and encouragement. I couldn't bear to stop kissing him, so I placed my hands over his, guiding them down, taking my panties with them. Once they were crumpled on the floor, he took hold of my leg under my knee and hitched it up, resting my foot on a ledge in the plaster. His kisses became softer, more drawn out, as his fingers traced leisurely circles on the skin of my inner thigh, inching higher and higher with torturous slowness.

"Tell me you want this." He begged against my lips "Tell me you're sure, because if I start I don't think I'll be able to stop." His beautiful, soft voice was frantic, like he was torn between two extremes he couldn't reconcile. I slid my hand down his chest, past his belt buckle and rested my palm briefly against his erection, eliciting both a thrust of his hips and a groan that was almost a snarl.

"I want this," I pledged in the dark. "I want you to touch me."

His fingers had found the evidence of my excitement on my thighs; sticky at first, then slick as he explored higher, the low rumbles at the back of his throat sounding like purrs. I felt myself tense at the first brush of him against my warmth, and took a deep breath to steady myself, immersing myself in his scent and relaxing against his touch as he discovered me with sure, gentle strokes. There was no doubt I was, literally, in the hands of an expert. I'd never felt anything like it before, he was making me tingle and throb and shiver in delight. I felt like I was on fire, and he hadn't even ventured inside me.

"You're incredible, like velvet and honey. Soft and sweet and warm..." he trailed off, burying his face into my shoulder, placing open kisses there, nipping softly at the skin. I was incoherent, breathing heavily, my breath catching in soft sighs and low moans, faster and louder as his miraculous fingers grew more insistent. He tenderly covered my mouth with his free hand, silencing my cries as I felt my impending rapture begin to unfurl within me. But this was different; I didn't have to imagine it was Edward bringing me pleasure, and that knowledge was overwhelming. It was unlike anything I had experienced before, and the force of it startled me.

"Let me have this," he begged in a whisper, and I couldn't tell who he was asking, but it sounded like prayer.

The pulse of pleasure pushed through me, moving in waves to my toes and fingertips, covering his hand with fresh wetness. I became intensely aware of a feeling of emptiness, the unfilled hollow between my thighs; how desperately I wanted to feel him, any part of him, within me. As if he could read my mind, he slipped two fingers inside in one smooth motion and flexed them gently, coaxing another, more powerful, climax from me. The waves of the second crashed into the echoes of the first, and the tempest raged within me until I was sure I would shatter.

When the constellations cleared from my vision, the first thing I could see was the glint of his eyes in the darkness, fixed intently on me, an expression of concern on his pale face. I wanted to say something, or even just smile at him to let him know I was okay. More than okay, I was blissful. But I couldn't seem to pull myself together. My hand was cocooned in his, so I squeezed his fingers gently and was rewarded with a cautious half-smile as he squeezed my fingers in return.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt?" He whispered. I gazed at him, confused. I had just experienced the most intense pleasure of my life, how could he think I was in pain? Then I realized I was slumped on the floor of the cave, with Edward crouched beside me. I must have slid down the wall, my legs giving way under the strength of the sensations he had released in me. I shifted a little, experimentally, checking for damage and finding none. I smiled at him dazedly, and this time his grin was dazzling. He leant forward, pressing his lips to mine, then rose gracefully to his feet and held out his hands to help me up. I took hold of them and lifted myself up onto my knees in front of him, but froze when I realized the possible implications of my position. Memories of his hard length pressed against my hip, against my ass, under my palm, flashed through my mind. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to taste him. Would he let me? From the bulge in front of my eyes I knew he was still as aroused as ever, but something told me that horny-Edward had left the building, and there was no way chivalrous-Edward would allow me to kneel on the cold, hard cement and take him in my mouth. But I was sure as hell going to try. I let go of his hands and tentatively reached out to his belt, pulling the leather strap through the buckle. I didn't get very far before his hands flew to mine, halting their movement. I glanced up to see him looking down at me, his face a portrait of consternation.

"Bella, no," he sighed. "I can't let you do that, not here."

"Let me have this," I repeated his own words back to him, hoping he would understand. I didn't feel like I owed him,I didn't want to do this to return the favour. I was being completely selfish. I wanted this for _me._ He closed his eyes, his brow furrowed. Deliberating, I guessed, trying to mediate between his head and his dick. I knew which side I was on.

"Please, let me," I persisted. He relented. His hands released mine, and found purchase on the craggy surface behind him while I tugged his belt open and began to work on his jeans, running my tongue across my lips in anticipation. My hands were shaking as I released him from the denim, slipping my fingers in through the open fly of his boxers for my first intimate caress of him. The skin was hot and silky beneath my fingertips, and he inhaled a sharp, shuddering breath. Working quickly, I pushed the cotton aside, letting a single warm breath wash over him before plunging him straight into my mouth, tasting the first beads of moisture as my tongue slid over him. I swirled the tip of my tongue over the sensitive skin and sucked very gently, feeling him twitch against my lips. I hummed a little in pleasure, then again, deeper, as I heard him cursing under his breath.

"If you keep doing that, this won't last long," he cautioned. I felt a little thrill that I could elicit such an intense response from him, making me feel desirable and powerful, giving me confidence to take him deeper, use more suction than I'd ever dared to before. I had never enjoyed doing this so much, never found it so rewarding.

Jake asked for it often; expecting it every morning if I'd stayed over, whining if I didn't capitulate. I hated it. He was demanding, gripping me hard by my hair while he pushed in and out, lost in himself while I tried not to retch. In the coarse, vulgar way he had of describing our sex life, he always referred to that particular act as "fucking your mouth", which I supposed was accurate. He was in control; he was the only one getting any satisfaction. He never reciprocated.

Edward was so different; letting me take my time, never pushing me to take more of him that I was able, allowing me to find a rhythm that soon had him groaning quietly in ecstasy. He murmured hushed endearments, which encouraged me, although I was fairly sure he didn't even know he was speaking out loud. I felt the softest touch, and opened my eyes to look up at him; his eyes were still closed and he was mouthing my name silently, over and over. He brushed his thumb lightly over my cheek, the pads of his fingers along the line of my jaw. Four years of being mauled by Jake had never come close to the ecstasy I felt at his caress. This was _Edward_, the man I had longed for, and he wanted me. If only for a little while.

"Bella, sweetheart," he warned, his voice a low growl in the darkness above me. I felt the thrust he was trying to restrain and, desperate to please him, pushed him that little bit deeper, trying to relax so I wouldn't gag on him. I felt the steel teeth of his zipper grazing my cheek. I was a little nervous about him finishing in my mouth, something I'd always refused to do for Jacob, but I knew in this situation I didn't really have much of an alternative. And this time I wanted to. I wanted to acknowledge in a small way, even if it was only to myself, that this thing with Edward was more. However fleeting it may be, it eclipsed all those years of frustration with Jake. His whole body tensed, and he quickly removed his hand from my cheek to grasp the rock instead as he pulsed down my throat. I swallowed hurriedly, trying not to taste. I had just released him from my mouth when I felt myself pulled up of the ground as Edward's arms locked around me, hugging me fiercely to him, both of us out of breath and panting. His hold on me was so tight I couldn't catch my breath, but I just wanted him to hold me tighter.

"Will you... come home with me?" He asked urgently. I nodded against his shoulder. "Will you stay with me?" He continued.

"Yes," I gasped. _For a night, for a week, forever. For as long as you want me_.

"Will you love me?" his voice was rough with frantic hope. I pulled back a little to look at him. His arms tensed around me briefly, then relaxed when he realised I wasn't trying to escape his embrace. He looked so anxious, so nervous. Of course I loved him, even after I'd tried so hard not to. I rose up on my toes and kissed his nose tenderly.

"Yes." I smiled slightly as he blinked in surprise, then bent his head to rest his forehead against mine, his beautiful features softened in relief.

"Really?"

"Always," I breathed against his mouth, before he kissed me exultantly.

The doors slammed and we froze, rigid in each others arms. Alice's voice announced her and Jasper's presence, wondering out loud where we had got to. We looked at each other, our eyes wide with alarm, then hurriedly started righting our dishevelled selves. As he tucked himself back into his jeans, I looked around for my panties, but they were nowhere to be found. I glanced back at Edward for assistance, and saw him smirking, avoiding my eyes and trying to hide his smug little grin. I raised an eyebrow, and he sighed, reached into his back pocket and pulled out my underwear. He blushed a little at being caught, and held them out to me. When I reached out, instead of releasing them he took hold of my hand and raised it to his lips. He kissed my fingers, then let go, watching amused as I wriggled back into my panties as Jasper and Alice passed by, just feet away from where he had concealed us. The reality of what we had just done came crashing around me; how easily we could have been caught. The outer doors swung closed behind Alice and Jasper and I could feel the heat rise in my face as I blushed scarlet under his gaze. I looked at the floor, letting my hair fall down like a curtain for me to hide behind. I felt his fingers wrap around my wrist, gently tugging me along behind him out onto the path and toward the final set of doors. I followed while my eyes remained fixed on the floor. At the door, he turned and lifted my chin up, and I reluctantly met his eyes.

"Hiding?" He challenged

"Embarrassed," I mumbled.

"Don't be," he ordered. "You are beautiful, and amazing, and fantastic, and perfect. And I'm in love with you."

All my breath left me, and I stared at him. A moment passed, then I smiled widely at him and we opened the doors and went out into the rare Washington sun.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N; It's Rob's birthday again! Which means it's time for Chapter two…

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><p>~o0o~ Edward ~o0o~<p>

I looked around apprehensively as we emerged from the nocturnal house. After the dark intimacy of the cave, I suddenly felt very exposed in the harsh light of day. The enormity of what I had done, of how this would change things, was beginning to dawn on me. So much was different. I had entered a dark place, full of rage and frustration, and emerged into the light, full of love and anticipation. I felt brave, and hopeful. As Bella's relationship with Jake limped on year after year, it had slowly eroded any joy I had felt for the future, replacing it with a sort of dull resignation.

To begin with I was just angry at myself for not telling her how I felt, for missing my chance to be with her. I contented myself with her friendship, trying to fool myself that spending our evenings and weekends together was almost as good, especially when Jacob made no effort to include himself in the group. A side-effect of hanging out with two couples meant that Bella and I often found ourselves thrown together; we sat together and shared popcorn in movie theatres, I would win prizes for her when the carnival was in town. The six of us had gone to a concert a few years back to see Bella's favourite band. Alice had been on Jasper's shoulders; Rosalie had been grinding on Emmett before they disappeared to fuck in the parking lot. I had steered Bella through the crowd to the very front, and braced my arms against the safety barrier so she was safe from the press of people. She had giggled, drank and danced, and sang her heart out while the lead singer flirted with her from the stage, earning himself a glare from me. Near the end of the show, she had turned her head and grinned at me, and that was when I knew I would do anything to keep that look of absolute, unbridled happiness on her lovely face. If she wanted Jacob, if that arrogant, denigrating asshole made her happy, I would accept that.

I had felt myself withdraw from her, trying to keep some distance between us because it was just too damn hard otherwise. Every now and then I would catch her looking at me with a strange expression on her face, and I would fool myself that she missed me as much as I missed her. Then Jacob would arrive, and she would smile up at him, and I would have to look away. Eventually it stopped hurting so much, but while the pain was dulled, so was everything else. I withdrew not only from Bella, but from everything else as well. I saw my friends and family rarely. I found myself spending weeks at a time without speaking to anybody outside of work and the Chinese place, where they not only knew my name and my regular order, but the motherly manageress would give me extra fortune cookies in an effort to cheer me up. I tried to socialise in circles that I was sure would not include Bella, but after waking up in the wrong bed, angry with girls who had done nothing wrong except for not being her, I gave up on that as well.

Two weeks ago, I had started working at a new job, and reluctantly agreed to a night out with the guys. I endured the first hour or so, ignoring Jacob as best I could and trying not to get caught staring at Bella. When Jacob announced that they were leaving, I felt my stomach knot with misery, not knowing when I would see her again. I was sinking into another stint of self-pity when I heard her little voice, struggling to be heard over the loud music, saying she didn't want to leave yet, and she would see him later. I glanced up at her in surprise, and saw the defiant set of her shoulders, the stubborn lift of her chin. I doubted if she realised it, but something had shifted. Jake was too taken aback to argue with her uncharacteristic dismissal of him, and a few moments later he was outside the bar, climbing into a cab with a look of bewilderment on his face. And Bella was with me. She giggled, drank and danced, and sang her heart out as I flirted with her. She was my Bella again, and it was only once she reverted back to the girl I had known that I realized how different she had become. My Bella was fierce, brave, funny, and ridiculously, unknowingly, sexy. Jacob had turned her into a timid, shy creature, always second-guessing herself and apologising for existing. I cursed inwardly; I should have been paying closer attention to her instead of indulging in my own misery, because she was obviously not happy with Jacob.

During our walk home that night, buoyed up by alcohol, I let my hand grasp hers. I let my fingers caress the soft skin of her hip, and held her warm body close to mine. I let myself hope. When she said she was drunk enough that she would tell me anything I asked, my mind had spun with thoughts of the secrets I could extract, the sins I could get her to confess... I wrestled with my conscience for a moment, then realised she had gone quiet and withdrawn, probably regretting her offer and hoping I didn't take her up on it. I never wanted her to regret anything with me. I told myself not to push. I would learn her secrets later; when I had earned them, and she was sober. Our pace had slowed as we neared her building, I was so desperate to spend more time with her. We stood in her doorway; the temptation to kiss her was so strong. She was too enticing as she looked up at me, adorable and uncertain. I wanted to kiss her so badly, and she was looking at me like maybe she wanted to kiss me, too. I gravitated to her, the centre of my universe. The second I moved towards her, I could see in her face it was too soon. She may want to kiss me, but that didn't mean she would allow herself to. In her mind, she was still Jacob's. As I pulled her warm body into a hug, I resolved once again to do whatever it took to make her happy, and this time I was going to pay attention.

I never dreamed it would involve near-public fellatio in a room full of bats.

Now I was buzzing with possibilities. I would take her home with me, where we would talk and kiss, and make love into the night. I would make us breakfast, and if she wasn't ready to move in with me yet, then I would at least change the lock on her apartment door. I would be happy, and I would make Bella happy. She had been so despondent for so long, I would do anything to make her smile again.

"So beautiful," I whispered as I raised our linked hands to my mouth and kissed her fingers where they interlaced with mine. She smiled shyly up at me, and I watched her blush return under my gaze. I knew she didn't believe me; her confidence had been worn down through years of disparaging comments and condescension. I idly wondered how long it would take for her to accept it as true. It didn't really matter; I would be telling her several times a day for the rest of my life. I would convince her eventually, but I wanted to believe Jake hadn't done any lasting damage. I would look after her now, and she would know she was adored.

"There you guys are!" Alice exclaimed as she bounced around the corner. Bella started a little, and stepped away, looking down at the floor again. I frowned, not liking the distance she had put between us. Her hand still grasped mine, reassuring me that her reaction was one of uncertainty and not regret. Alice froze, her eyes locked on our joined hands and her little face a mask of shock. Jasper followed behind her, and saw what she saw. He glanced up at me and raised his eyebrows, and hint of a smile. He had never said anything, but I knew he understood how I felt about Bella. The long years of pining and yearning. The few girls I would turn to when the loneliness got too much. The hope I felt when she would meet my eyes and smile, and the despair each time it came to nothing. The dark wrath I felt for Jacob Black and his callous treatment of the girl I loved so much.

"Hey Alice," I greeted her simply, pulling Bella gently closer to me, where she belonged. Alice's face split into a huge grin, positively vibrating as she jumped up and down excitedly.

"Finally!" She squeaked. "I've been waiting so long for this! All these years, I've seen the way you two are with each other, those little glances when you thought no one was looking. I can't believe it's taken you so long to pull your head out of you ass, Edward. Bella's been waiting on you for years! Wait, you guys _are _together now, right? Like, properly together? You're going to tell Stinky Jake and Skankerella to hit the road?"

I looked down at Bella, who just smiled. A perfect, shy, overwhelmingly joyous smile that did funny things to my heart.

"Yes," I confirmed happily, causing Alice to bounce even higher.

"You two are so cute," sighed Alice dramatically, continuing to bounce. Jasper steadied her with a hand on her shoulder, and tugged her away, murmuring something about giving us sometime. I gave him an appreciative grin as he steered his over-exuberant girlfriend toward the zebras. We watched them go, and I turned her to face me again.

"I was thinking about a full-page ad in Us Weekly, but I decided telling Alice would be far more effective. You don't mind, do you?" Bella looked back up at me, concern creasing her brow slightly. I was suddenly a little anxious I had forced her hand. "I'm sorry, I just got carried away. I figured since you're coming home with me, Jacob might notice something was up." That made her smile a little, and I felt better.

"I don't mind," she said quietly. "It just reminded me that Jake and I need to have a serious conversation soon."

"You don't have to face him if you don't want to," I kissed the palm of her hand. "You could just disappear with me, I'm sure he'll take the hint." I knew she would talk to him; she was too good a person to just stop calling him. She would feel some sort of responsibility to tell him it was over, and soon. The idea of her being alone with him chilled my blood, but I knew I couldn't stop it from happening. All I could do was be there for her when she was done.

"As tempting as that sounds, I need to get this over and done with. I don't want to risk him turning up out of the blue and making things difficult for you."

"For us, Bella," I corrected her, gently. She smiled that gorgeous, full smile again. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and held her close. I inhaled deeply, revelling in the knowledge that I could. Her hair would be splayed across my pillow tonight, and my bed would smell of her tomorrow, and, I hoped, every day after.

"Bells, what the hell?" Jacob's voice crashed into our bubble, making Bella flinch and tense in a way I never wanted to see again. I pressed an unhurried kiss to the top of her head and turned to face him, standing just behind her and trying to appear as calm as possible. He was striding towards us, Tanya forgotten, as he realised another male was encroaching on his territory. I sighed inwardly; it was like he deliberately ignored thirty thousand years of human evolution with his possessive, alpha-male bullshit.

"Jake," she began, her tiny voice trembling slightly.

"Be brave, my Bella," I whispered. She took a deep steadying breath and reached back to take my hand, which I gladly gave. Jacob's glance darted down and his eyes narrowed, his face hardening and his lip curling into a sneer.

"Get the fuck away from my girl, Cullen." He stepped forward, trying to intimidate me. I held my ground.

"Bella isn't your girl."

"The fuck she's not!"

"Jake, I need you to calm down," Bella interceded in a strong, clear voice. "There's something I need to tell you."

"Yeah, I can see that," he snarled. "You always did have a thing for him, didn't you, you little bitch?"

"Don't speak to her that way," I growled back. Bella squeezed my hand, calming me slightly. I wanted her to speak for herself, to stand up to him after so many years of subjugation at his hands, but part of me couldn't stand to hear him abuse her without stepping in to protect her like I had always wanted to.

"I'll speak to her any damn way I please, Cullen. She IS mine!" Jacob spat in my direction.

"No, Jake, I'm not. Not anymore," Bella said, calmly and quietly. I was so proud of her. Jacob, the arrogant fucker, carried on as if she hadn't spoken.

"Are you going to tell me that she belongs to you? Huh?" He scoffed.

"No, she doesn't, and I would never want her to belong to me," Next to me I felt Bella flinch a little, doubting my love. Silly Bella. It hurt, deep in my chest, but I understood enough not to take it personally. After all the years Jacob had fed and nurtured her insecurities, it would take some time for her to get used to my absolute and unqualified devotion. I squeezed her tiny hand. "I belong to her."

The confusion on Jacob's face was replaced with scorn.

"Well, isn't that fucking special," he mocked, then reached out a hand to grab Bella. To take my Bella away from me. There was no way in Hell I was allowing that. No way he would ever be touching her again. My hand darted out and grabbed hold of his wrist. He tried to pull it away, but I held on. He needed to understand that he and Bella were over, and he was no longer welcome in our lives. "Get the fuck of me!" he snapped.

"I suggest you listen to Bella." I said steadily. He glared back at me, then snorted derisively and turned his eyes to Bella.

"It's over, Jake. I'm leaving you." She swallowed hard to steady her nerves, trying to be firm and succinct. Nobody else would have any idea how hard this was for her. No one else could feel her hand shaking. "I don't want to see you again, and I'd like you to give me back the key to my apartment."

"Don't be stupid, you're not going anywhere."

"Yes, I am," she said, with more conviction this time.

"He'll get bored with you, you know," he carried on, a hint of desperation touching his voice. "Especially when he realises you're fucking useless in bed. Don't think I'll take you back, I'm not taking Cullen's sloppy seconds..."

Hearing him speak that way about her, my beautiful Bella, filled me with rage. She was so far above him, so much better than this coarse, disrespectful _dog._ Deciding I had heard more than enough from him, I twisted his arm behind him and shoved his face against the wall of the nocturnal house. He was bigger, but my motivation was better. He was only protecting his pride, while I was protecting the love of my life.

"I told you not to speak to her that way," I snarled. "Now, Bella has very politely asked for her key. Are you going to give it back, or do you want me to take it?"

"Fuck you!" he spat, twisting and wriggling in an effort to break away from me. I slammed him back hard against the brick, knocking the breath out of him, and reached into his jacket pocket. Finding a bunch of keys, I pulled them out and tossed them to Bella, who quickly unclipped her apartment and car keys and handed the rest back to me. I briefly considered throwing them into the alligator pool, but decided to try to be the better man.

"Bella and I are leaving now. I hope you enjoy spending the rest of the day with Tanya. She's a shallow, manipulative bitch, so I'm sure you'll be very unhappy together." I backed away from him slowly, making sure to keep myself between him and Bella. After we got about ten feet back, Tanya descended on him, cooing and simpering over the graze on his cheek from the rough brick. Jake ignored her at first, glaring over her shoulder at me. Then she shoved her tits in his face and his attention was diverted. I suppressed a snort; they deserved each other.

We walked in the direction that Alice and Jasper had taken, and as we approached, Alice held out her car keys to me.

"I figured the ride home might be a little uncomfortable if the four of you were in Em's truck," she commented with a satisfied smirk.

"Thanks, Alice," I gave her a little hug, grateful for her foresight.

"Will we be seeing you tonight?" She asked.

"Probably not," I grinned, looking down at Bella as she blushed.

"Tomorrow? We're going for breakfast with Em and Rose?" she enticed. I shook my head, and Bella's blush intensified.

"How about you just call us when you're done?" Jasper suggested, dryly. Bella giggled a little and buried her face in my shoulder.

"That might be a while," I replied, grinning as I steered Bella towards the exit, and home.

~o0O0o~

The ride home was a quiet one. Bella fiddled with her fingernails, scrolled aimlessly through the iPod, picked at the upholstery. She had assured me that she didn't regret our tryst, or ending things with Jacob, so I wasn't sure what had got her so anxious. I was second-guessing myself, revising my plans for the evening. Maybe it was all just too much, too soon? I told myself I could be patient, for her. Eventually, her fidgeting became too much for me to ignore.

"Are you okay, love?

"I guess..." she muttered, unconvincingly.

"You wanna try that one more time with feeling?"

"I'm just a bit nervous, nothing to be concerned about."

"I will always be concerned about anything that worries you. You know there's nothing to be nervous about, right?" I attempted to reassure her.

"Yeah," she whispered.

"You're not really doing a great job of convincing me," I prodded.

"It's nothing, really."

Unsatisfied, but leaving it for now, I drove the rest of the way in silence. Her fidgeting increased as we passed by her building and continued on to my own, but she still said nothing. I debated waiting her out, but I wanted this resolved as quickly as possible. Something was distressing her, which was unacceptable, and I would do whatever I could to put it right. But first, she had to tell me what it was. The silence in the elevator up to my apartment was overwhelming, stifling. I reached out and took her hand, tugging her to me gently and wrapping my arms around her waist.

"Tell me," I pleaded quietly. She sighed in resignation, and glanced up at me though her lashes.

"I just can't believe you really want me," she admitted in a small voice.

"Why would you think I don't want you?" I asked in astonishment. She shrugged.

"You told Jake you didn't want me to be yours." Her voice wavered a little and she looked back down at the floor.

"Sweetheart, of course I want you," I held her tighter and rested my forehead against hers. "I told Jake I didn't want you to belong to me, and that's true. He always acted as if he had claimed you, like he had rights over you. It made me sick. You are not something to be owned, by him, or me, or anyone. But that doesn't mean I don't want you. I want you, and I want to be with you, in every way you can imagine." I hoped she could hear the fervour in my voice.

"Are you sure?" She was still so uncertain, so painfully desperate to be convinced. The elevator dinged to announce our arrival to the correct floor.

"Let me show you something," I took her by the hand and led her down the hall to my apartment door. I turned the key in the lock, took a deep breath, and turned to her.

"You are the first person I've ever brought back to my apartment," I told her. "Nobody else has been here since the day I moved in. Not Emmett, not Jasper or Alice. Not even my mother." Bella's eyes widened at this revelation, and I was glad to see that curiosity had replaced a big chunk of her anxiety.

"Do you want to know why?" I asked. She nodded, and I pushed open the door.

She peered in, cautiously at first, then a little more bravely once she realised there was nothing dangerous in there. Satisfied I didn't live in a BDSM dungeon full of leather and whips, she stood in the middle of the room and looked around. At first glance, it looked like any other apartment; couch, TV, coffee table. Lots of bookshelves. Tidier then she probably expected for a single man. It took her a few minutes to realise. The pictures. Dozens of pictures, on the walls, on the shelves, pinned to the cork memo board in my kitchen, on the refrigerator. Dozens of pictures, all of her.

She went very still, and I was suddenly panicked. I thought this would be enough to show her my devotion, but perhaps it was too much. I hardly dared to breath as she turned slowly, taking it all in, until she was facing me as I lurked uncertainly in the doorway. Would she run? I waited nervously for her reaction.

"Me?" She breathed.

"Always."

She looked back to the frames crowding the bookshelves. Taking her continued presence as a good sign, I approached her carefully. She looked a little overwhelmed, but not scared, as she turned to face me. I wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Five years ago, I fell in love with a beautiful, smart, funny girl. I've watched her learn, and grow, and make mistakes. Sometimes she seemed so sad and lost, but she was always in there, and now she's stronger, and wiser, and braver," I kissed her after each one of her virtues. "She's smarter, and funnier, and impossibly more beautiful."

"Anyone I know?" she asked, and I smiled at the bad joke.

"It's a lot to take in, I know. I just wanted you to know; I'm all in."

"I'll never be able to live up to this," she warned me.

"There's nothing to live up to, I don't expect you to be anybody other than you." After a final kiss, I released her and headed toward the kitchen. "Are you hungry? I make a pretty good grilled cheese."

"Mmmm, please," Bella said, sounding relieved at the change of subject, and hopping up onto a seat at the breakfast bar.

She watched me as I moved around the kitchen, talking about nothing in particular, giggling over some of the older, more embarrassing pictures. It felt amazing to have her be so comfortable in my home. After I had fed her, we moved to the couch and sat at a respectable distance, talking and watching as the sun disappeared. The darkness made us brave, and our voices dropped as we leaned in closer to one another.

"I'm sorry for freaking out on you earlier," she said somewhat sheepishly.

"Sweetheart, I understand. I don't expect this to be simple. I know it's going to take some time for you to trust me, and trust us. Just this morning you were with Jacob, and you were miserable, and everything is different now. I've waited for you for so long; I don't mind waiting a little bit longer. Things got a hot and heavy earlier, but there's no pressure. I just want to kiss you."

"Is that all you want to do?" she asked shyly, moving closer to me and looking adorable and uncomfortable.

"No," I answered honestly.

"You want to do more?" She was so close now; I could feel the heat of her body.

"Yes," I whispered. So much more. I doubted I would ever tell her the depraved things I imagined doing to her, the deliciously debauched fantasies that had filled my head in the dark.

"Five years, Edward," she whispered. She was practically in my lap now. So close, so warm. "It's a long time to wait."

_So long. So long without you, wanting you._

"I've been waiting, too." Her lips brushed against my ear. I closed my eyes and tried not to whimper. "I don't want to wait any longer."

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><p>Chapter three (probably the final one) is underway, I hope to get it done in under a year this time.<p> 


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